The Watchers

I really should have been doing work. I really meant to. But the poem was insistant. It's more sad than I would have liked, but ah well. No worries. I am well... though I'm not sure what to think of this one... o.O?


I can lay back and watch the clouds pass overhead,
silky shadows against a moonlit sky,
and wonder about how many stars are there, anyway.

I can trace the lines of trees
and dance among the drifting leaves of fall,
never faltering as I tiptoe through the steps.

I can muse about the future,
talk of nothings and whispers and dreams
or embrace the silence happily.

But let the watchful eyes place me in their gaze
and I stumble in my dance, forgetting how to count
the rhythm and the stars.

Let them calculate my measure and my motive
and the fear becomes too strong,
until emptiness steals my words away...

And I am alone

In the silence...

I don't know what it is... something about tonight. It's really lonely around here. We were supposed to have open apartments, but no one signed up to monitor. I wish I could have... but choir gets in the way. Even if I had, I don't know if anyone would have been around to come over... everyone is gone. Even my roommate. I've been doing a lot of reading for classes. Probably a good thing, since it means I'll be a little caught up, but I'm tired and can't read anymore. I don't want to write. Something about staring at a computer screen, trying to conquer writer's block just doesn't appeal right now. Even though I'm still staring at a computer screen.

I'd probably be okay if the book I just finished hadn't been "An American Plague: The True and Terrifying Story of the Yellow Fever Epidemic of 1793." Just in case you couldn't guess, it wasn't cheerful. Yeah. It basically ended by saying that yellow fever is a modern day time bomb that we're doomed to face at some point.

You know... God is awesome. Yay for Amanda. She makes me smile. Maybe I will be doing something tonight, and even if we don't end up wandering over to Brian's, she offered to go with me. It never ceases to amaze me how God reveals himself to us through the wonderful people in our lives.

Wow... weird, contradictory post. Seems to symbolize tonight. lol.